Drama

Hey friends
I'm back in Wisconsin. In fact I find myself sitting in the office chair at my parent's house.
Yeah, I'm not sure what I wish to say here. I want you to know that I'm back. Also, I would really appreciate prayer right now. This is a hard time.
I'm pretty overwhelmed with the stress of life right now. That's something I haven't felt in a while. wondering what's coming next. stressing over a decision. trying to understand what God would have me do. Wondering if I'm asking the right questions. Maybe I should just go to seminary. What in the world is Wisdom. We keep talking about it, but I'm skeptical.

Life seemed much simpler in Galati.
It seems that my focus is drawn to how to make money right now as I consider how I will get out to Denver...and as I consider how I will visit friends over New Year's. That's lame. It's also reality as my parents are quick to remind me.
Yet I remember that this is part of why I feel like I need to go to Denver. I need to see how a life of simplicity and faith and love and community can be lived in this American context. I want a chance to live out Christ's words, not just deflect them to an ignored corner of my mind. I want to live the collision between the Gospel with all its faith and deeds and the World in which we live.

Am I naive?
certainly.
Am I idealistic?
I hope so.
Do I know what I'm talking about?
not really.
Are those three ways of saying the same thing?
yes.
I think that's a sign I should stop writing :-)

Basically that's how I'm feeling right now. I'm frustrated that I feel caught up in the money game. It bothers me that my decisions are so affected by needing to make money. I'm not sure how to appropriately trust God to provide...realizing that He has created us to work and that work is good. I'm frustrated that I'm having a hard time just enjoying people and anticipating Christ's birth because I'm worried about how I can start this next leg of the journey.
I miss you friends. I miss you my Galati family.

Gata

Gata means "Done" or "I'm ready" in Romanian.

Gata! I'm done tiling! Praise the Lord. It turned out really well. If you need some tiling done...or know of someone who does, let me know :-)
I don't have a good picture of it right now, so this picture of fellow servant team member Kate looking really excited will have to suffice.
Sorry i haven't written more recently. I was busy tiling when I should have been putting up blog posts... or maybe something else :-) We leave Galati in a week, spend a few days in the Mountains on a wee vacation/festival of tears and then fly home the 15th. Yikes.
I'm learning and reflecting alot about community right now. Yet again community has proven to be messy and also wonderful as we seek intimacy and transparency and healthy lives together.
Thanks for any prayers during this next week for our WMF community here in Galati as we seek to bring closure to this time.

Fatsa mea (my face)

Joel Klepac did this sculpture of me one day. I just happened to walk in at a time when he was looking for a subject I guess :-). there's something about this that is just really cool. art art art...you're so mysterious

Thomitsa and I at the park. It's pretty much too cold to play, plus Tom would prefer to play for some money (about 40cents) so that he can feed his cats lol. cool guy.
The last couple times we've seen eachother, we've just talked for about an hour - no chess, just talk. He's a good man.

Lonely

This is a blog I wrote for the WMF Romania blog (wmfromania.blogspot.com).

But...I'm feeling betta' (think of the knight in Monty Python who got his appendages cut off and then said this :-)

I’m lonely. In fact, I’m not even sure that captures it. I feel alone. I’m feeling the effects of being in a place where I have trouble connecting with people. This is partly because we can’t speak each others’ languages well, partly because all my relationships are completely new within the last 3 months, and partly because relationships are just hard. I’m longing for someone to talk with. Someone to invite me to speak. Someone to keep me company I suppose. I’m longing for love. I haven’t felt this way many times in my life, but right now I feel down-right needy. I need some attention. I need some tlc. I need a back scratch and some of mom’s cooking. I need love.

Part of me doesn’t want to continue processing this, because I’m afraid I will inevitably discover how it is for my good and how God is using this to teach me something. Of those two things I’m quite confident, but I don’t know that God necessarily causes me to experience something like feeling alone, so that I learn stuff and become a “better person”. I’m tired of simplifying things like that. God is infinitely good, and He loves me. He has spoken to us that He works things out for good for those whom He loves and has called for His purposes. What’s frustrating to me is that I think we use ideas like that to make us ignore our feelings and emotions. The fact is I feel alone! I feel like I’m not known. I don’t feel enjoyed. I’m not sure where God is during this. Because of God’s character I trust that He works things like this out for my good, but the fact is it feels awful right now and this is not how things should be. People are not supposed to feel these things! In the fullness of God’s kingdom people will not feel this way!

With that said, I wonder what the children of Galati feel? The children who live on the streets, or the children who come to our day center everyday. I come from a home of love and support – wonderful family and friends. I currently live in a community like Word Made Flesh which is focused on relationships. Yet I still have moments like this. These children likely know nothing of the loving and supportive family and friends that I know. What do they feel like? Do they feel loved? My time spent with Word Made Flesh here in Romania has helped me to realize that perhaps the greatest poverty one can feel is the poverty of not being loved. Healthy, loving relationships are an absolutely essential part of who we are as people made in the image of the Triune God. As we consider serving and “loving” people, are we thinking mostly in terms of providing an answer to material poverty, of home and hunger, or are we as the Church willing to be Christ in the wake of relational poverty, this poverty of love?

Often when we interact with people in poverty, the conversation probably goes like this:

“Sure, I can give you some stuff. Here’s some cash. Need some clothes? Can I buy you a meal? Here you go. Go in peace.” But as I live among the hurting and I am begged from daily, and as I live life with the kids at-risk in the day center, I’ve learned to hear something deeper than what reaches my ears:

“What’s that you’re whispering? You’re saying that’s not what you really need? You say you’ve been trying to tell me this all along - with your fits of violence and anger, your begging, your cutting words, your sad eyes. Oh, you just want to be loved you say…

I think that’s what I’ve been saying too, I’ve just been using different words – melancholy, sarcasm, silence.”

I too feel this poverty of love.

Oh Lord, help us be one. Help us love.

Stefan Cel Mare

This is our friend Stefan. He's a big hero in the Romanian/Moldovan world. He held off the Turks for a while I believe. There is an awesome statue of him in downtown Chisinau. ("keyshinow")

Moldova

Hey These are some Pictures from our time in Chisinau - the capitol of Moldova.
They have some cool statues there....lots of lions and busts of old guys. Very cool. It was really a beautiful city, but right now when I think of big cities I think of pain. I think of the people I can't see. The ones that can't go to the nice restaurants and travel around wherever they want and buy stuff. I think of the fact that mostly the rich and the very poor live in big cities like Chisinau.
So it was kind of a bittersweet visit.

We came at a good time - they were having this huge wine Festival the day after we left. So these paraders were somewhat announcing the beginning of the festival. I would like to say that everyone in Moldova dresses like this. But unfortunately that's not true :-)
I'll put up more pics when I can - I'm having a hard time uploading pictures at the moment.

I'm a little wet

Here in Galati, they've got this thing they do with the heat - trying to save money I suppose. They don't turn it on until it's reached freezing outside...or November 1st...whichever comes first. I don't know if that's official policy, or just how it seems to work out. In the Bloc apartments (set up during communism - pretty ugly...very functional) people don't have individual heating units - it's all done with some central city heating system, thus people don't really have a choice when they get heat (though they can control it once it reaches their apt.) All that to say...it's been cold. real cold. Romanians say "frig" (freeg). Everymorning when I wake up and go into the kitchen for breakfast, mama lenutsa greets me with a "hey you're up...it's cold outside!" or.."good morning...it's reeeeallly cold today" or "you're up later than usual...it's raining". Always some kind of weather report...and these days it's not a good report. :-)
Today I find myself a little wet.
Mom, thanks for encouraging me to get those waterproof boots. That was brilliant!

I haven't really felt like writing recently. sorry to leave you with a downer blog for the last 10 days or so. Life just has it's ups and downs. Sometimes I understand why I feel the way I do and sometimes I have absolutely no clue. that's tough for me. It makes me feel kinda out of control - dangerous. like I can't control if people like me then...cause I would assume people would like me if I'm happy and smiley and have profound things to say...or if I'm down, at least to be able to diagnose my current "temper" in a display of self-awareness. But when I just don't know why I feel the way I do - what do I do with that! yikes. This again points to a few things in my mind. Namely, the need for real love. I assume this is the experience of many people, not just myself. This proves to me that I can't rely on my actions and constant likeability and performances to acheive for me friends and attention and "love". cause then those things will fluctuate like the wind. that's no good. I need people (and a God) who are committed to me. To loving me. In the moments of impressive performance and charm and intellect...and in the moments of moodyness, incoherance, arogance - lack of spelling ability even. There was a quote in one of the sermons we listened to last week that caught my attention -"I don't love you because you have worth - I love you to bring you worth". Considering that everyone bears the image of God - created by Him- (that's such a big deal!!!) I think there is certainly intrinsic worth in that. Yet, I love the idea that we don't earn what love we receive - from God or from others. The love we receive brings us our worth.

I'm not sure how to make a good connection to this next thought...so yeah. I was reading an article by one of our staff here (in the Cry - wmf journal) talking about her experience of suffering, as she has joined her life to the suffering of many of the people here in Romania - I can name them as I've done before - poverty - huge families - tons of kids - different fathers. abuse. not enough food. cold - no heat. not enough money for books for school, thus they drop out. prostitution as a way out of poverty. disease and drunkenness paralyzing families. This is suffering yes. I think I'm realizing though that suffering exists everywhere - it absolutely is so present in America - in the rich west. Maybe not in the same way - maybe people have food, shelter, schooling. But oh there's such suffering. The question is not whether there will be suffering - the question is whether or not people will choose to enter into that suffering - to bring healing to suffering. To embrace it's reality and existance - not to run away from it at every opportunity and to try to show to the world that we have no problems - no suffering - no pain - no wounds. I feel like that's mostly the response we've had in the American church...as I've experienced it. It feels so natural to run away and hid that from eachother.

This writer of this article was saying how her experience joining with and experiencing the suffering of the children here in Galati opened her to realize and embrace her own suffering - the painful wounds of her life...and to bring those to the loving Father - the Healer. What struck me, was the thought that I hadn't really brought my wounds (often self-inflicted i might add...sin etc...) and fears and failings to God with an expectation that I would find healing there. If I can't do that - if I don't have the faith to know that God is a healer, how can I work among such incredible suffering such as exist in places of poverty and injustice? We live as bearers of God's healing balm out of a response to being healed ourselves - we bring the good news - there is healing!! There is real love!
The mystery comes in the idea that often healing for our own wounds and fears and failings come as we work for the healing and redemption of other's wounds. As we enter into the suffering of others - as Jesus did, we find healing, love and hope. Somehow. That just seems to be how God has made it to be. The fact is, we serve and love and are loved by a God who suffered so much. He entered into the suffering of humanity. He has rescued us. Once and for all, and yet the Church has a vocation to bring healing...and be healed in the process.

I also want to say that I think the word healing might be a bit misleading - when I think of healing, i think it's like a one time thing. poof. I'm healed. I don't think that's often how it works. When I say healing I'm thinking more of the idea that for a time our wounds and fears and failures are accepted - embraced. For that moments, we feel whole. In my experience those fears and wounds and failures revisit - but maybe not as strong - or maybe stronger. But perhaps our faith is strengthened in the healer and we come to Him again.

I'm sure not all of this makes sense - that's totally ok. Not all of it does to me either. I think God has me in a process of believing things such as these.

I can do all things through Him who gives me strength

Hey ya'll
I'm still here. Battered and bruised yes, but still here.

We spent this last week in Moldova - I'll post some pics soon.
Part of the team was checking out the possibility of starting a WMF
community there focusing on the problem of sex trafficking that's really prevalent there.
The rest of us were just hanging out, cause we had to be out of Romania for at least 3 days
in order to get our visas renewed.
It was good and bad. We were in Chisinau - the capitol city. So we did the tourist thing a bit - I find that I'm not really in the tourist mood right now, but I guess a break is healthy once and a while. I think several of us got tired of eachother while we were there. We hung out all day everyday. Stuff comes up, issues arise, and drama happens when you spend that much time around people. yikes. yeah for community! :-) But seriously I think it is good. We were forced to deal with it. I really like that about being here with this WMF community. We are forced to deal with the junk that is part of real life- in the world and in relationship with ourselves in our relationships with God and in our relationships with eachother. that's a great thing. It's horrible and painful and depressing. Yet it's great. It's like that disgusting medicine that I know will make me better (though these days they make medicine taste so good...).
That's kinda been my mood as of late. Depressed - dealing with culture shock. Not really knowing how to connect with God in this foreign culture. Not knowing how to connect with other people - whether they speak English or Romanian. Being frustrated at this melancholy, confused, somewhat apathetic person on display to the people around me.
I'm also dealing somewhat with the disappointment of realizing that my expectations for this experience aren't being met, and likely won't be. I guess I hoped this experience would fix me. I wrote in an email the other day that I hoped this experience would make me a "love machine" - that I would just come away oozing God's love - knowing exactly how to love God and love the world around me.

That much is consistent - it's about "me". Why is it that I want to be a "love machine"? I dont' think that's coming out of a response to God's love. More likely, It's out of a desire to be something awesome - to have the answers - to be a leader and example for people - to be successful - to feel good about myself.

What does it mean to deny myself and pick up my cross daily and follow Jesus?

I'm afraid maybe I've found myself in the midst of this Christian rat race to the top of the spiritual mountain. I've got to be the first one there. Then I'll be happy.
Is the love of God not enough?

I also find this great fear at work in me - I'm starting from a position of guilt in almost everything - assuming that there's probably a better way to be doing things - a better path in life - a better cause to champion - a better bit of advice to give - a better spiritual discipline to work on...

I've got to get to the basics of life. God is love. He has called me and drawn me and welcomed me in his arms. Life is a response to God - to His existence and action. Again and again I make it about other things...

I have these moments of distress and perhaps revelation every so often. Just thought I would share.

Some Pics

This is a classic Galati picture. Nathan and I are trying to wrangle this runaway horse. It was walking straight for the busyest street in the city. We basically saved its life.

(Left) This is the "popadia" - afountain in the

middle of the city that apparently someone

thought was really cool.

This is the courtyard of the Center where pretty much everything happens.

Veggie garden is all the way back. Chapel is back to the left. Workshop is connected to it on the left. Offices are back right. Then in front of that is the bathroom/showers, then artroom, then dinning room and kitchen, then day room, where the school stuff happens.

I got few words

A typical conversation I might have with one of my young friends here at the Day Center:

Ryan: "What's up Daniel. How are you?"
Daniel: Good. How are you?
"very good."
Hey, can you play basketball with me pretty please.
"Yes."
let's play horse (obligat)"
ok. we play... I say "almost" and "way to go!" about 15 times.
I don't want to play anymore.
"ok"

[at the swing]
Hey Ryan (they most likely call me josh first...then I help them remember it's ryan), can you push me on the swing?
"yes. Hard or no?"
very hard!
[swinging]...
"harder?"
yes!...
stop!!

[During lunch]
"Hey, how was school today?"
good
"Do you like it?"
no
"why not?"
;lkas;lkfhasdf;lkh (a response I don't understand)
"oh...
How many brothers and sisters do you have?"
4 sisters and 3 brothers. Big huh.
"very big.
How was your weekend?"
good. ;lkajs;dlfk I played football a;lkjs;dflkjasdf and walked a;lkja;sldkfj
"very good...
alright. see you later Daniel. Have a good night."


So as you can tell I can't have the most profound conversation with these kids. And yet it's good. I'm really enjoying learning to love the kids without the ability to really speak with them verbally. It makes me communicate love and care and interest with my actions...not just my words. it's awesome. teaching me a lot about what it means to be human. to need community. to need time with people. to need shared experience. to need attention. it's great. In many ways talk costs much less than actions and reaps accordingly. Talk doesn't have to be cheap, but it has certainly been that at times.

I'm pretty sure this is something I will learn more about as a parent, but I'm so glad I'm being exposed to it now. In the "adult world" we seem to rely so heavily on words. And complicated words at that. Words obviously aren't bad; it's just cool and I think important to know I can deeply connect with someone without the ability to say more than "hey. how are you?" and "you have two brothers? cool."

Mini update

So, just a little update here. Life's had its ups and downs this week. After my great day on Monday, Tuesday was nasty...yesterday kinda was blah too. weird how that happens. I think it's cool being in a place like this where life is a bit more simple, cause then I'm able to identify more quickly why sometimes I feel bad and what things often contribute to me feeling good. I've found that a quick game of chess really relaxes and invigorates me to engage in the world. That's a good thing. I've also found that time spent on my knees meeting with God is a key to feeling stable in life and a key to feel like I actually have a relationship with my creator, Savior, Sustainer.

Even here it's a battle to not let my life become a list of chores - to make time for people - to make time for God to use us in relationship - to allow time for the unexpected - to not care more about efficiency than about relationships. it's hard.

There isn't anything super noteworthy on my mind right now. I'm going to send out another update this weekend...i hope. My back is still hurting a bit, so that makes it hard to interact with the kids - play and run with them etc... since my language isn't good enough to really hold a long conversation with them. I'm doing some back stretches right now and I think that is helping. I would still appreciate prayer for that.

I'm also still seeing some selfishness in my interaction with others here. I hate that.

We watched a really tough documentary about some street kids in Bucharest (capital of romania) yesterday. It shed a lot of light on the lives that some of the kids we work with live. Horrible families - that's basically why thy leave - often poverty is at the root of it...but typically the lack of money just accentuates the already existing family problems. Often drunk and abusive parents (verbally as well as physically) cause the kids to run away. Then these children grow up without love - totally in fear - no one to show them how to live life. They just have to survive. No maturity - they often end up addicted to sniffing glue/paint...whatever will get them high or they become alcoholics. It's awful. Someone literally has to commit their life to helping a child like this get off the streets. It's not a quick fix by any means. A relationship has to be formed for that child to be helped. Jesus says that anyone who welcomes a child in His name welcomes Him... Also, I was reading this morning an article in WMF's magazine "the Cry" about intimacy with the poor. the author reminded us of this verse in Jeremiah:
"He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well.
Is that not what it means to know me?" declares the LORD.

The Lord so strongly identifies Himself with those who are hurting and need help. Why isn't defending the cause of the poor and needy a trademark of our lives, supposedly being Christ's body???

We're also reading this book about Jesus that is making me think alot and look at some of Scripture a bit differently. It's called "the challenge of Jesus" by NT Wright. It tries to look at Jesus through a more historical lens - trying hard to understand the 1st century Jewish culture in which He became flesh and announced the Kingdom of God. It's great, and makes me more aware of my lack of knowledge of Jewish History. It's maybe a bit presumptuous to think I can fully understand a Jewish 1st century messiah, living in Palestine, when I don't have a good grasp on Judaism...or the 1st century...or Palestine. yikes. :-)


I'm not sick anymore! cool. Thank you God.

Ok. We're going to have a football game with some of the boys from the street and then have a bbq with the guys going back to England tomorrow. They have been such a blessing! It's so cool to have friends from England who just come and help us build stuff and encourage this community for two weeks. God's family is big. :-)
May the Lord bless you with knowledge of Himself and a heart after His own!

Joy

I cried today.

And it was because I was laughing so hard. It felt great. Awesome in fact.
I'm not sure if I've ever laughed as hard as I did this morning. Maybe the stress of these circumstances brought that out. We were having our monday morning book discussion time where the servant team, John and Josh and Robin (our leaders) gather in the chapel and discuss whatever we read for that day. Since it's a monday, we discuss our weekends as well, because we don't always see eachother and it's great to catch up. So we went around the room telling about our weekends. I had a great weekend, especially considering that I was sick for most of it... and I re-aggravated my back injurybending over to put my pj's on :-). I went to the Orthodox Cathedral (the big pretty one we visited the first time) and stayed for the whole liturgy and then I just read the rest of the day and prayed and did language stuff. Anyway. We came around to Josh. He hasn't been feeling well at all. In fact they think he might have girardia again. That's this intestinal worm thing...not good. But he's had that before and thinks this is different - he jokingly said maybe it's colon cancer. For obviously reasons that prompted me to ask if he was going to have a colonoscopy done. I'm not exactly sure what all goes into one of the those, but I'm quite confident they're a good time. Talking about colonoscopies and such made me think of the physical I had in order to come with WMF to Romania. Because...I had to have a rectal exam!! So I wanted to reminisce with the others about the rectal exam that i assume all of us had to take. Well, it turns out I was the only stinkin person who had to have a rectal exam. What! apparently everyone else's doctor scoffed at the WMF sheet that told them to do a rectal exam - they were like, "what? who wrote this? that's ridiculous...you don't need that." Not my doctor. Nope. You know why? cause he was NEW. Fresh from the doctor incubator (no offense to any medical proffessionals reading this). I vividly remember his expression and tone of voice when, from the WMF physical exam sheet he was perusing, he looked up with a start and said, I'm going to have to do a rectal exam. He looked shaken. I was thinking "ok...not a big deal right? I mean, happens all the time...right?". I was so young. so so .. naive.
For the sake of this audience I'll stop there. That's actually all I shared with the group this morning too, but maybe it was more funny to leave the rest to imagination. So, that, and a few other timely and choice comments from the group led to intense laughter for the next 5 minutes. I was weeping. I was whinny-ing if that makes any sense. People were having a hard time breathing. it was that kind of laughter. Red faces. Hands slapping the ground. People rolling over. And I'm crying and whimpering.

It reminded me of some of my favorite childhood memories when Dad use to laugh like that. Sometimes the jokes wouldn't even be that funny, but when dad started laughing like that - the hard-time-breating, whimpering, whinnying, crying kind of laugh - who could help but laugh themselves - before you knew it you were crying...gasping for breath...making hilarious noises in the process, Slapping the table. Those moments are so precious to me. In those moments everything is well. A family is formed. For that moment there is sheer joy.

I think that was quite a gift from the Lord to us this morning. Today I'm pretty convinced that God made laughter. :-)

Adventures with Tom

I think this is really cool. So two night ago I just finished writing the previous post about Tom - telling about our Chess games and asking for prayer for him etc... Well, that same night Kate and I were heading home on the 22 (that's our bus cause we live in the same area) and guess who got on? yup. Tomitsa (that's long for Tom). Crazyness. Neither of us had seen Tom outside of the chess park before, so it was just super cool that God had us meet on the bus. I was really happy to see him because I had accidentally double-booked for this saturday and couldn't make it to the Chess park. Plus I had somehow invited the servant team over to Tom's house that saturday, so it was really important that I could see Tom before in order to reschedule for next week. Anyway, I communicated that we were going hiking this saturday so I couldn't make it over to his house. He seemed skeptical, but then invited Kate and I over right then to watch a soccer match between Bucharest Stau and a team from slovakia. How could we say no to that... :-) So to make a long story short, Kate and I watched the whole soccer game with Tom and his wife at his place. It was awesome. Awkward at times, but yet awesome. Some highlights: We got to see lots of pictures of tom's two girls and two grandkids. Tom showed off some of his awards from chess tournaments. We had a few shots of nesscafe espresso - always makes the day better. We got to see Tom's cats michi and jojo - they exist! I was pretty happy about that. We got to talk to Tom for like 3 hours (in romanian) and keep building this relationship.
One thing about Romanians - they aren't afraid to ask personal questions about guy-girl relationships...marriage...making babies etc... So Tom is on a personal journey trying to hook Kate and I up with eachother. Here's a taste of some of the questions (my translation): So..Ryan, do you love Kate? No?! Why? She's nice and pretty and has a good heart - why not? I think you're lying. What would you say if another guy came along and Kate went off with him? (I said.."I would say Bravo!" to which he replied...I don't believe you :-)
This was actually incredibly funny. He probably grilled us for like 45 minutes on this. I kept saying things like "Tom, I think we really need more time...we've only known eachother for like 1 month." or in response to Tom's question of why I don't love Kate... "Tom, God knows....only He knows..." Tom and I were talking mostly because I can speak a little better romanian than Kate. This is really funny. Kate can understand most of what's being said, but at one point she didn't understand something and turned to me and asked "what's he saying?" I calmly replied "He wants to know if you love me..." That was an awesome moment.
I'm sure this will continue to come up, but at least it gives me a great chance to practice romanian...and I think shows Tom's genuine interest in our lives. or possibly it shows boredom with the rest of life...I'll assume the best :-)
So i think that's pretty awesome. I think in that moment, spending that time with Tom and talking with him and watching the game was a way to be God's love. God has answered several prayers like that with such grace and immediacy during my time here. wow. I'm excited to continue to know Tom and pray for him. Please continue to pray for him and for a true heart of love in all our relationships here, living out of a knowledge of our existence as God's beloved child.


In other news: I hurt my back today. I didn't lift with my legs. shoot! :-) So I kinda feel like an old man and, well...my back hurts and I can't run right now or really even play with the kids. I hope tomorrow it will be better - maybe it's just a pulled muscle. I would appreciate prayer for healing and more-so God's will and His grace in my reaction and the results of having a hurt back. Thanks sooo much.

We also have a group of 5 from england here. Frank, Allen, Erik, Rachel and Neil. They are great and have really sweet accents and love the Lord and this community. They are here to build stuff and fix things and do electrical work around the center here. It's such a blessing that they give up their time and money to do this. You can pray for Frank and Neil too - they are decided whether or not God wants them to join the WMF romanian team - so they need wisdom and peace.

One more thing: A girl named Gabrielal from Brazil has been working with our community drawing up some business plans for this job-creation program we're trying to start. She is a wonderful girl. Pray that God would work in her heart and reveal Himself to her. I would love to see her come to know Jesus as know His love.

Recapp: Pray for Tom. Praise God for working and answering prayer. My Back. The English friends. Gabriella.

Chess in the Park anyone?

I want you all to meet Tom. He's the guy I'm playing chess with.
We've played Chess with Tom every Saturday since we've been here in Galati. I think that's one of the coolest things I've experienced about this culture so far - they love chess and guys play it in the park all the time. They actually have a couple parks that are totally dedicated to the game - they have concrete tables with chess boards painted on them surrounded by concrete chairs. how cool is that. I guess chess is something that the communist mindset really enjoys? apparently in russia they taught chess as a part of the school curriculum. whoa. So these guys are much much better than I am, but it's super fun. The first Saturday Kate and I went to the park we were kinda wandering around trying to quietly observe some games...trying not to let on that we were american and couldn't speak romanian. That lasted until someone tried to talk with me...it was Tom! I roughly understood that he wanted to know if I wanted to play. I don't know why he asked me...cause it turns out that Tom is one of the best players around and so yeah...anyway. I said...uh..da (yes) lol. And thus begins our relationship. Tom is such a sweet guy. He has taught Kate and I alot about how to play etc... and been very patient even though he could easily beat us at chess whenever he wants. The first time we played it was really funny because word got around that we were foreigners and couldn't speak romanian...so this huge crowd gathers around our chess board (which happens frequently in these parks...big crowds around good games) and it's fun cause the old men surrounding your table all point out and try to tell you what move to make and then as soon as they do that other guys tell say "nu!" and say what you should really do... and they go back and forth arguing and it's super fun.
Somehow last week I invited our group over to Tom's place for some coffee. I'm still not totally sure how...or why that happened :-). Anyway I would appreciate prayer for that - it's this Saturday. I really want to be the love of Christ to Tom however that can happen.
Tom smokes alllllll the time. And he's somewhat crippled...so he can't walk well or work. I think he' doesn't have much money. He plays for money alot. And then he asks for money so that he can feed his two cats. Jojo and michi (micky).
Playing chess with Tom has been one of the sweet spots for me in here in Galati.
I'm praying that Tom can come to know Jesus - His creator who was crucified that he might have life.

Romanian Blogger

So, I've sold out to the world of blogging. That's ok.
As Kate (far left), one of the girls on the servant team, always says,
"That's ok. It'll all work out" :-)
We laugh at her and she laughs too so that's good.

I want to be able to communicate more frequently than
a mass email every other week...plus notes on facebook
felt too much like publishing a paper. I didn't like what I
was writing either...so maybe that effected this decision
too... lol. (i love the lol. such a great tool)

So we're going to give this a shot...maybe it'll be great, maybe not.
I think I'm so much of a verbal processor that this will be good. I
think. We shall see!

I also really really want to communicate and share this experience with you
and do that well, so I hope this will get us further down that road.

Please comment and interact with these!! Otherwise this is just like online
sneezing or something. Alot of junk flies out into the air and..well the analogy
ends there. :-)

I really hope that God will use this for His glory.
ryan

ps. this is the team except the first guy on the left (David, he is working with WMF in Argentina)
From left to right: Kate, (david), John, Nate, Me, Elizabeth

Orthodoxy?

The Eastern Orthodox Church. Turns out this is a part of the Christian Church that actually exists! I've read about it, but I don't think I actually realized it existed and millions of people are a part of it.

Romania is almost entirely Eastern Orthodox. In some ways it's like in America, where most people would say that they are Christian...or that they believe in God...but way more-so in Romania. It has yet to become popular or really even accepted to not believe in God. Not everyone actually goes to a Cathedral on Sunday, but most all will claim Christian Eastern Orthodox belief.
Here's a little background on the Eastern Orthodox Church: If I have my Church History correct the Roman Catholic Church and the Eastern Orthodox Church split around 1000AD over a few issues...one of them being a detail in the Nicene Creed about whether the Holy Spirit proceeds from just God the Father or BOTH God the Father and God the Son... I think the other issue was that of Icons. The Eastern Orthodox Church uses a ton of icons in their worship...and pretty much everyday life too. (Icons are like pics of Jesus and Mary or of one of the many saints throughout Church History). I believe that's the gist of the reason they split...but I would need to study some more before I took a test on that or something. Dad, do you want to double check that? :-)
So this is very interesting. But the Church's (Capital "C" Church, as in Christ's body) situation here in Romania is also kinda disturbing. The protestant Church here is quite young. And they are viewed as a sect - almost like a cult - by the Orthodox Church. There is tremendous tension between the Orthodox Church and the Protestant Church. They pretty much see eachother as the enemy. Somewhat how Protestants and Catholics stereotypically interact with eachother in the States.

Yesterday the servant team visited an Orthodox Church here in Galati, with Josh and Robin (the servant team leaders) and Joel and Monica (a word made Flesh couple who have become members of the Orthodox Church since coming to Romania 7 years ago...or so). So we went with some pretty who are pretty knowledgeable of the Orthodox Church in order to experience what it was like and understand much more about the Romanian culture etc... It was very different. and cool.
I'll try to paint a little bit of a picture...but I won't cover everything. Part of the problem that leads to much disagreement and fighting between Protestants and Catholics and Orthodox I believe is not so much based on an accurate understanding of their theological differences, but from premature judgments and biases, reacting to that which is different and not understood. Something looks different, so we condemn, often at the expense of legitimate understanding. So, I don't write this so that we can all establish our judgments about the Orthodox Church. I write this to describe my experiences as I BEGIN my understanding of this historic Church and it's carefully crafted theology.

So we walk in to this cathedral at about 9am. We're here for the 2 hours of prayer that precede the actual liturgy. The place is packed with people. There are no seats. Everyone is standing or kneeling or are maybe even closer to lying down face to the ground. The smell of incense is in the air. This amazing choir is singing from a loft 100ft above us. We can't see them at all. The walls of the Church are Completely 100% covered with art - it's pretty much one giant painting. Seems to be of Jesus - different pictures from His life -and of saints and other things from Church History. The Priests and choir are leading the people in prayers. The priests are busy doing things and reading from books near the altar/stage area of the cathedral. I'm sure they wouldn't call it a stage, but that maybe communicates the image better than "altar". We can't understand the romanian, so bummer, but Josh and Robin have a book that gives the liturgy in English, so we'll be able to read about that and actually see what it says for next time. The liturgy that they use today is the liturgy that St. John Chrysostem used back in 400ish AD. Icons of Jesus and Mary and several of saints are placed along several walls and one in the middle of the room. People are pretty much free to do their own thing throughout the worship time. People are crossing themselves, kneeling, kissing icons, singing, looking around, listening and thinking (I'm assuming here lol). It's really interesting. Eastern Orthodox theology believes that worship is a full body experience - thus they try to incorporate all the senses in their worship. I really enjoyed the freedom to kneel and stand up and do whatever with my hands. I felt very free in that regard.
So anyway, there is so much to understand about what they do and why. But apparently in Orthodox theology, there is a reason for everything.
That was exciting. I'm sure understanding Eastern orthodoxy will really help me be a better critic of my own Church experience. This is certainly the hope.
It will be hard though too. There is so much animosity between the protestant and orthodox churches here that I already feel like I'm disappointing and frustrating people that I would even want to look in to understanding orthodoxy.
Please pray for me in that. May God use this to genuinely teach me about Himself - who He is. How He desires to be worshiped. The truth and lies that exist in both orthodoxy and protestantism that I haven't been aware of. Pray for my relationship with my friends here and abroad who might not understand my desire to understand the Orthodox faith.

I'll write more as I know. :-)
I must go eat some of mama lenutsa's good food :-)

ryan